I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
