Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
