Yo dont text me then not text me
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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