I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
birth control should be required to get into college
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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