the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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