i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
