Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
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You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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