I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Less talking, more tequila
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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