you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
