and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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