Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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