He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He shit in the fireplace
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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