And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
