i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize