you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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