I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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