And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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