if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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