dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
