If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
