I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
