I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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