Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
