so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
