Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
