We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
