i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
