Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
