ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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