if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
