somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize