I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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