Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
