Your tits are I can't wait for
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you had me at cake vodka
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
