Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
