Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math. http://tfl.nu/vxcn
  Replies (85) Good night (1480) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I don't want you to recite the pledge!

  (631): View more from New York

  Pledge alligien to america to united states of america

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge. (401): I don't want you to recite the pledge! (631): Pledge alligien to america to united states of america http://tfl.nu/s7dx
  Replies (20) Good night (3602) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice" http://tfl.nu/bgbh
  Replies (18) Good night (3917) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru http://tfl.nu/806s
  Replies (22) Good night (919) Bad night (2604)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out. http://tfl.nu/nz84
  Replies (22) Good night (4439) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward http://tfl.nu/vm30
  Replies (23) Good night (4514) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did. http://tfl.nu/i39w
  Replies (13) Good night (3010) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy. http://tfl.nu/vond
  Replies (15) Good night (6458) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  either way he was missing a nipple.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): either way he was missing a nipple. http://tfl.nu/17oh
  Replies (18) Good night (840) Bad night (5969)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms. http://tfl.nu/9ede
  Replies (8) Good night (3458) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold. http://tfl.nu/drpi
  Replies (6) Good night (1627) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy? http://tfl.nu/waaq
  Replies (14) Good night (3378) Bad night (1327)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much. http://tfl.nu/4lhq
  Replies (15) Good night (833) Bad night (2407)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow http://tfl.nu/q4cz
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy http://tfl.nu/hfvq
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (392)

Randomize