It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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