i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno