Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.