Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?

(773): View more from Illinois

Responsible fail?

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(907): Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior? (773): Responsible fail? http://tfl.nu/nxhx

Replies (19) Good night (1507) Bad night (5472)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete

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(919): I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete http://tfl.nu/qit9

Replies (18) Good night (3955) Bad night (581)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.

(417): View more from Missouri

I'm going for alcohol poisoning.

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(816): I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight. (417): I'm going for alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/l0is

Replies (21) Good night (6137) Bad night (1035)
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(845): View more from New York

Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success

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(845): Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success http://tfl.nu/8g5x

Replies (12) Good night (4273) Bad night (842)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story

(307): View more from Wyoming

The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.

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(307): The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story (307): The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant. http://tfl.nu/nooi

Replies (16) Good night (6055) Bad night (1452)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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(304): You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up http://tfl.nu/adeo

Replies (34) Good night (7643) Bad night (1202)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.

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(907): I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex. http://tfl.nu/ckwf

Replies (9) Good night (2693) Bad night (1353)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...

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(217): I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony... http://tfl.nu/w96r

Replies (14) Good night (3418) Bad night (1669)
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(845): View more from New York

I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?

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(845): I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain? http://tfl.nu/0jn9

Replies (9) Good night (4512) Bad night (925)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.

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(978): That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS. http://tfl.nu/x0o9

Replies (11) Good night (3162) Bad night (1152)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much

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(410): I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much http://tfl.nu/fm3j

Replies (9) Good night (551) Bad night (2367)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up

(248): View more from Michigan

What a great time to reflect on life

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(248): Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up (248): What a great time to reflect on life http://tfl.nu/lxxa

Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (327)
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(912): View more from Georgia

It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.

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(912): It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time. http://tfl.nu/lxl4

Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (383)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups

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(610): Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups http://tfl.nu/pbun

Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (268)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.

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(701): I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it. http://tfl.nu/1cyv

Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (259)

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