Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke. http://tfl.nu/6ulb
  Replies (27) Good night (917) Bad night (4037)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris' http://tfl.nu/lstf
  Replies (17) Good night (5383) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself. http://tfl.nu/qlu7
  Replies (42) Good night (6041) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all. http://tfl.nu/qt2o
  Replies (13) Good night (5174) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :( http://tfl.nu/zxos
  Replies (34) Good night (2350) Bad night (4990)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever. http://tfl.nu/dui8
  Replies (12) Good night (4156) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way. http://tfl.nu/qonl
  Replies (34) Good night (6277) Bad night (2432)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this" http://tfl.nu/lsrz
  Replies (17) Good night (4341) Bad night (1670)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): 24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good. http://tfl.nu/55h0
  Replies (13) Good night (7222) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point http://tfl.nu/9yf5
  Replies (7) Good night (1583) Bad night (3539)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list. http://tfl.nu/ifsp
  Replies (20) Good night (8148) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/4od2
  Replies (5) Good night (848) Bad night (1735)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram? http://tfl.nu/uqso
  Replies (6) Good night (818) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas! http://tfl.nu/asvm
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age..... http://tfl.nu/e96s
  Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (620)

Randomize