Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.

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(210): View more from Texas

she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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(214): View more from Texas

We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.

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(936): View more from Texas

I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma

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