Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  would you consider him our boss?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  technically yes

  (360): View more from Washington

  then technically i slept with our boss

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  (360): would you consider him our boss? (503): technically yes (360): then technically i slept with our boss http://tfl.nu/5m3t
  Replies (22) Good night (3892) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

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  (631): My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list. http://tfl.nu/ispc
  Replies (23) Good night (797) Bad night (2405)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?

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  (818): why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing? http://tfl.nu/8p36
  Replies (26) Good night (1030) Bad night (3576)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.

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  (609): Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing. http://tfl.nu/en2f
  Replies (26) Good night (1262) Bad night (6729)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.

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  (254): Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working. http://tfl.nu/apns
  Replies (8) Good night (813) Bad night (4013)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.

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  (303): I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete. http://tfl.nu/q4l5
  Replies (19) Good night (4698) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you

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  (518): I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you http://tfl.nu/jrvn
  Replies (20) Good night (5618) Bad night (1959)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

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  (908): almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/cscz
  Replies (13) Good night (4534) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Your friend and I already don't get along

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  (404): I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend. (734): Your friend and I already don't get along http://tfl.nu/d3pe
  Replies (4) Good night (3473) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.

  (1-432): View more from Texas

  Erry day erry day!

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  (432): 3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life. (1-432): Erry day erry day! http://tfl.nu/wghw
  Replies (22) Good night (2269) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"

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  (432): dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds" http://tfl.nu/wwid
  Replies (14) Good night (800) Bad night (1854)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?

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  (267): A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices? http://tfl.nu/eop4
  Replies (8) Good night (548) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you

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  (843): Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you http://tfl.nu/1rr1
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (085): View more from

  I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper

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  (085): I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper http://tfl.nu/5ugi
  Replies (6) Good night (892) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.

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  (727): I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now. http://tfl.nu/q4wq
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (123)

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