im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize