Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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