Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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