I feel like I'm in dance class right now
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
