Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
