Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize