we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
