I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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