Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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