she was so not down for the gang bang
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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