I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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