I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize