The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The Olympian is in my bed
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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