How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
