I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
