I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Let the clothes fall where they may.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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