can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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