he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
