Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
