I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
